Deleting Memories.

God, I can't talk to you right now. I can't talk to you later. I couldn't talk to you earlier.
I'm not angry with you Precious Friend- but my heart is weighed down by sorrows, and if I express them- if I discuss them with you Papa- then I will never forget. I live to forget. Is this so bad? Does this hurt so much?
I will talk to you Jesus, but only about medeochre things- things not of the heart. (Though if that is to be what we discuss- then why would we talk at all? For the heart is what you are all about.)
I havn't danced in weeks, and every time I hear music, it reminds me of my goal to survive. (And to survive, is to delete the man whom my heart longs for from my life.) Don't let me feel Papa. Please don't let me love again- to be alone in it is one of the worst things in the world.
I've been so foolish....so achingly foolish.

I love you Jesus,
-Me